


I Need A Sunrise

by orphan_account



Series: the adventures of dave egbert and john strider from that one rp [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Kidswap, M/M, bloodswap, dave egbert - Freeform, guardianswap, john strider - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-30
Updated: 2012-11-30
Packaged: 2017-11-19 22:45:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/578443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is John Strider and you can't understand why your best friend Dave can't see how wonderful you think he is. You suppose in that case you'll just have to keep on reminding him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need A Sunrise

**Author's Note:**

> Based loosely off an RP a friend and I have been doing of guardianswap Dave Egbert and John Strider. Hopefully it isn't too confusing due to the changed last names/alternate personalities.

It’s early morning when you wake up, you can tell that much from the angle of the light streaming through the windows. Even at such an early hour, the heat is already suffocating, as Texas summers have a tendency to be. You’re sprawled on your stomach on your bed, face buried in the pillow. You let out a soft groan and roll onto your back.

When your eyes blink open, the first thing you see is Dave. You’d forgotten he was here in the haziness of just waking up. He’s sitting up on the bed next to you, knees hugged to his chest and staring out the window. It was a bad decision for him to come visit this time of year, what with the weather so awful all the time, but he insisted he come down seeing as you went up to his over winter break – it was only fair.

Even still, your tiny apartment wasn’t exactly built for guests. Bro slept on the only sofa, and there was hardly the floor space for an air mattress or even a sleeping bag. And so you’d both ended up in your bed, which left you having to forcibly prevent yourself from “accidentally” snuggling up to him as you slept. It was hard when all you wanted was to feel his arms around you.

“You’re up early,” you note, your voice soft and rough with sleep. He just nods a little. He hasn’t got his glasses on, and his eyes are the brightest shade of blue you’ve ever seen. You wish he would look at you. “What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t reply for so long that you almost break the silence again, but he finally speaks up, his words no more than a mumble. “I don’t know.”

You sigh. “Yes you do. Talk to me, Egbert.”

He fidgets a little and rests his chin on one of his knees, still refusing to look at you. “It’s dumb.”

“I doubt that.”

“I just…” He sighs. “I just don’t get it? Like. Why you’re friends with me. I’m so awkward and dorky and weird, and you’re, like, the epitome of coolkid, and it just. Doesn’t make any sense to me.”

You frown. He’s in one of his moods again. Once in a while he gets like this, self-deprecating for no real reason. You wish there was some way to show him how wonderful he is in your eyes. “Dave. We’ve been over this.”

“I know. But still.”

You wriggle closer to him and nuzzle your head against his leg. His entire body freezes for a moment, and then he cautiously starts to stroke your hair. It feels nicer than you’d ever admit.

“There are all sorts of reasons why I’m friends with you. I mean, first of all, you’re not awkward all the time. You just gotta stop being so self-conscious, you know? Cause when you’re not being self-conscious you’re really great and fun to be around. I mean, you’re always fun to be around, but I dunno. I like seeing you smile.”

His fingers still in your hair for a moment, but it isn’t long until his movements start up again. “It’s hard though,” he admits. “I just want you to like me.”

“Dave, I already like you. Nothing you do’s gonna change that.”

“I know. But I worry. You know me, I get paranoid about the stupidest shit.”

He finally looks at you then, and his eyes are apologetic, one corner of his mouth tugging up into a tiny smile. You sit up too, and his hand falls out of your hair and into his lap.

“Is that all you were worrying about, dude?”

“Uh. Yes.” You don’t believe him for a second. Dave’s always been a pretty awful liar. You just raise an eyebrow. He chews on the inside of his cheek. “…No.”

“What else, then?”

He sighs and folds his hands in his lap, looking at them instead of you now. You wait for him to answer, trying to be patient. It’s never been your best virtue, but with Dave sometimes you have to force yourself to be.

Finally he speaks up again, and you have to lean a little closer to him just to hear his hardly audible words. “You remember what happened on New Year’s?”

You blink in surprise at that. Of course you remember what happened on New Year’s. It’s all you can remember, sometimes. But you were under the impression that he didn’t, seeing as the next morning he acted like nothing had happened. You’d played along, your heart aching the whole time.

“Yeah?” you answer slowly.

He starts to fiddle with the drawstring on his pajama pants. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately,” he murmurs, his voice nearly impossible to hear. “And I just, I don’t want to let anyone down, especially not my dad, and everything is so confusing and messed up, and I tried, I really tried to date Melanie, and I just felt so horrible about myself the whole time and I didn’t know why, and I just–“

“Dave.” He’s visibly shaking now, and you want to stop him before he works himself up too much more. He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath.

“John, I think I’m gay,” he whispers. You think your heart stops for a second, but you force yourself to remain calm. This isn’t about you. Dave is upset, and it’s your job to fix it.

“So?”

His eyes fly open and he looks at you like you just told him you were a wanted serial killer. “So? John! I’ve spent my entire life firmly believing that I’m not a homosexual only to realize that whoops I maybe kind of am, and I’m enough of a socially awkward outcast as it is, with this on top I’m pretty much hopeless–“

“Dude,” you cut him off again. “There’s nothing wrong with it. Being gay.”

His shoulders hunch towards his ears and he looks away again.

You frown. Time for more drastic measures. Time to fess up to some shit. “I like guys too,” you say carefully.

He seems surprised. “You – really? But you hit on girls like, all the time.”

“So?” You shrug. “I like both.” It’s kind of true – the only guy you’ve ever really liked is Dave. Then again, you’ve never liked anyone like you like Dave, girls included.

“Oh.” He seems to relax a tiny bit at this knowledge.

“See? So it’s not a big deal. No one’s gonna think any less of you for it, and if they do then they’re assholes and you don’t need them around anyways. And if it’s your dad you’re worried about, then that’s just stupid, cause I’m pretty sure there’s nothing you could possibly do to disappoint him.” You give him a tiny smile, then carefully lift a hand to cup his cheek, your thumb gliding over his cheekbone. He finally looks at you again, eyes still big and nervous but slightly less so than before.

“Yeah. I guess you’re right. Thanks, John.” The corner of his mouth tugs up into the tiniest of smiles.

“Anytime, man.” But you can’t help but think about what happened on New Year’s. And why he chose to bring it up now, of all times. Screw it. It’s already confession time, apparently. You’ve been holding this in for too long, and now that it seems like you might actually have a chance, you’re dying not knowing. “So, uh. New Year’s, huh?”

His face colors a bit and he looks shocked, like he’d forgotten he’d even mentioned that. He lets out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, that was, that was pretty silly, huh? Can’t believe we drank all that champagne…”

“Silly?”

He clears his throat and drops his eyes. “That was… It was my first kiss.”

It –

Oh.

You never knew that.

Wow, you’re an asshole. You stole your best bro’s first kiss in a stupid fit of drunken impulse. Your eyebrows furrow and you start to pull your hand away from his face. “Dave, shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t–“

He grabs your wrist and his eyes meet yours again, the tiniest of shy smiles on his lips. “I didn’t say I didn’t like it?” he says slowly, the statement phrased as a question.

Your heart is racing so hard you think it might leap out of your chest. You blink. You clear your throat. “Oh,” you say.

Real fucking eloquent, Strider.

He laughs a little, and god you love his laugh so much. It’s quiet and soft around the edges, almost like he’s afraid of getting too loud, but it has a sort of lilt to it that’s just perfect.

Everything about him is perfect.

And he liked it when you kissed him. The guy you’ve been head over heels in love with since you were like twelve liked it when you kissed him.

There’s a big dumb grin on your face right now and you’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so busy being happy. “So you wouldn’t mind it if I did it again?” you ask cautiously.

“Not at all.”

Jesus Christ this is the best day in the entire world.

You lean in and your lips are on his for the second time in your life, and this time you know it’s him kissing back and not the alcohol. It’s slow and just a little bit clumsy and more perfect than you ever could have imagined.

After a few minutes you pull away again and he’s smiling just as much as you are, which you take as a good sign. His arms are around your shoulders and your mouth still feels warm from his.

“Hey, John?” he asks, voice barely above a whisper. “You mind if we go back to sleep for a little while?”

“Not at all.”

You both lay down and he immediately presses close to you, and despite the heat you wrap an arm around his waist, nuzzling your head underneath his chin. You hold on tight to him as you listen to his breath start to even out, and you don’t plan on letting go anytime soon.


End file.
